covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
