another moral hangover. fuck.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
