Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
