I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize
