the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
