sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
