Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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