when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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