If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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