I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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