Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
