why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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