Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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