it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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