Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
