the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
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