just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Randomize
