i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Even my vagina gasped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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