youre lurking in front of me
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize