i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
