How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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