my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize