Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Never let your siblings swipe right.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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