At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
