I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
