Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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