I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
