you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
What a dumb baby whore.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
