We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
