his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
