How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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