I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
