how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
