he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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