Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Randomize
