Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
