Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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