Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
