I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
