According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
