he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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