i wish my penis had a tongue
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
