she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
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not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
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I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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