I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
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I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
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Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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