yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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