Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.