CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?