he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
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he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
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YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.