that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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