Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
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when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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