watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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