I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
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