I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I seem to have left my pride at pride
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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