"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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