Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
