i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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