I accidentally had phone sex last night
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize