Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
