I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
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you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
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I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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