What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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