Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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