Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
