so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
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She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
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My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.